The “handyman’s dream” can be an acquired taste, even for a real handyman. There is definitely an upside, financial and even spiritual for the true handyman in turning a dump into a palace. But there are also major risks, including the risk of severe, sudden impact to the hip pocket. It can take a while to get to the furniture removal stage if the “handyman’s dream” is a bomb site.

Facts and figures

There’s a hardheaded approach to jobs like these, and it’s less starry-eyed than steely-eyed.

Facts are the first element in the equation:

Ask a few pertinent questions:

• Is the place a death trap? Some are. A few tons of shaky masonry can do a lot for your appreciation of a nice little flat somewhere else. Some “handyman’s dreams” are structurally unsound. You need an engineer to check them, and they may need major work.

• What condition are the supports in? Supports are very good indicators of the real condition of any building. Some old supports are miraculous; some are so bad you’ll find a dead cockroach is the only thing keeping them stable.

• Brick faces: Big brick faces are another giveaway. In older buildings, defects in the brickwork tend to amplify over time. A big split can be quite a few thousand quid waiting to come out of your pocket.

• Timber: Some timber is nothing less than brilliant in older places, absolutely pristine. In others, even the termites would write them off. If you’re intending to restore, the amount of timber required can add up, very quickly.

• Moisture: It’s not always obvious, but some places are actually in old drainage zones. The current drainage may be OK, but in the past they were either too close to the water table, flooded during one of those wonderful deluges, or had water around them. They’ve been partly dissolved, and the foundations will need checking, too.

Assuming the building passes these basic tests, and you’ve survived the inspection process, it’s probably safe to go to the next stage.

Figures are next:

You need to be utterly ruthless and realistic in terms of costs if you expect to get to livable condition.
From your fact finding tour, you will have identified material and labor costs.
The costs for basic restoration are the really tough ones. This is the work that absolutely must be done:

• Structural work: This work, fortunately, is done by competent people who also know how to give competent quotes. Do not attempt to do this work yourself unless you’re a professional engineer with a lot of good friends. It requires full block-and-tackle professional installation. You could also kill yourself in the process.

• Your improvements: Patience is the key to getting good materials. You can get absolutely magnificent materials if you’re prepared to put in the effort.

• Fittings: Forget about “rustic” electrical wiring and plumbing unless masochism or sudden death is part of the planning process. All these must be brand new, and fitted by a licensed person.

• Building to approvals standard: Don’t guess. Get some help from the local authority, and above all, get something in writing about their requirements.

Incredible and truly beautiful things have been achieved with “handyman’s dream” homes. Make sure that’s what you’re going to achieve, before you start. Then you can start looking for removalists.